=)

so drew mentioned that
=) this is the jo tang face

yup I confess that I have been feeling really -_- recently because of the lack of direction in my life. Seriously, med school? My physical fitness is somewhat questionable...my mental/emotional capacity even more so sometimes...and I haven't been able to stay awake in most of my classes ever since first year. (The good outcome of that though is that I realized I need to read my textbooks since I miss so much in lectures...not that I'm saying one can fall asleep in lectures and catch up by reading =P) And the HLTH 101 prof has been super cynical about the whole healthcare system and that we don't actually need doctors. According to him, and it kind of makes sense too, plumbers or engineers are more important on a population scale...
I understand his point. But is it really God's calling for me then? What should I be doing with my life, to live according to His will, to glorify Him? I've been putting too much focus on what I can do for Him though...that's not how it should be. Whenever I get to this point, I'm always reminded of Romans 11...

³³Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
³⁴"Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?"
³⁵"Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay him?"
³⁶For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.

=) I was losing a bit of the spark a while ago, not only for this dream but I know it was because I wasn't placing Him at the center of it all. I still don't know about med school, I am going to try my best though!
And right now, I'm writing application forms AGAIN. This time it's for the UW International Health Development Association 2010 Summer Project: Kenya trip. If I get the chance to go, it would be an opportunity of a lifetime and partially fulfilling my dream of volunteering overseas for medical missions. One of the placements is to help take care of kids of HIV-infected parents, do home visits, counselling, home visits/food distributions, raising awareness of sexually transmitted diseases etc. But looking at the schedule, one of the points that most caught my attention:
"Sunday is a rest and church day in Kenya. If volunteers wish they can accompany their host family to their local church. Even if volunteers do not prescribe to the religion of the host family, it is recommended that volunteers can attend at least one church day service with their host family as an African church service is unlike anything you will ever experience."
it would be so awesome to be able to worship with them, people of different backgrounds coming to worship our one God! =) One of the things I remembered most from microbiology lectures was the video clip we watched on how a certain African researcher was using microbes to solve the food crisis...but the most amazing part was despite their poor living conditions, their worship service was so moving, the smiles and joy reflected from their faces so genuine =)
so yeah...you can learn anything amazing about God in the most unthinkable ways...even in the worst/boring-est classes =P
And, in a bid to convince my mum that I would be physically fit to go to Africa for a month, I would take extremely good care of my health from now on =) I promised that I will sleep at 12:30 am, get at least 6-7 hours a day...which means cutting down on stuff like facebook, or msn/gchat, whatever that is distracting and taking up too much of my time.
Hopefully, I'll be able to play guitar well enough by then though and bring it along if I get accepted!
=) =) =) May He be my all in all, my everything =)