Sometimes, it seems like my parents were really right that I shouldn't be pursuing medicine as a career cos:
1. I'm too clumsy/absent-minded (But I remembered to take my antibiotics on time today! =D)
2. I don't exactly trust doctors =P
3. I don't trust myself that much either
Point 1's kind of obvious...As for point 2, I'm always skeptical of the doctors' diagnosis. But really, I should be letting go of my paranoia...in some ways, my half-hearted trust in the doctors' capability is kind of like my unwillingness to fully surrender to God's will when He knows best! No matter what happens, I can always turn to Him =) Of course, we always hope for the best - just like how I was praying that my experiments today would yield the results that I wanted so I wouldn't have to repeat the entire cloning again but nope, they were all negative. Maybe God wants me to have more practice or I'd discover something interesting in repeating the experiment? I'm not certain about that but I know for sure that
"Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see." ~Corrie ten Boom, preface of The Hiding Place.
=) so whether or not I'll actually become a paediatrician, I'll just have to place my trust in Him.
Anyways, back to my point about scaring myself this morning. Thankfully, I went off wikipedia & started flipping the book I'd brought to work with me...I had been feeling a little drained from all the lab work I'd been doing these past weeks with not that much improvement nor positive results, plus family & packing issues, and the thought that there are so many people in desperate need of our help yet I'm too busy to even care that much...stress had somewhat been building up ever since I left the ever-peaceful waterloo where all you needed to care about was studying (ok, there's a little more to that =P) So reading the verses from Habakkuk 3:17-18 was definitely rejuvenating:
"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes
on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though
there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will
rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Saviour."
definitely a great start to the day =)
3 comments:
I think i kinda understand how you feel at work though maybe not exactly. I don't know how it's like working in a lab. The closest i've come is my Astar attachment at DSI. My supervisor was very nice but i weren't allowed to use most of the equipment anyway. The experience was ok.
But now here where i'm working as an admin assistant, i'm just as dumb and clumsy :X I do get the hang of things once I do them like 2 or 3 times but if my boss isn't around to give me instructions like now coz she's away in Australia on some business thingy, i won't know wad to do. I took the past 3 days off. Tell you it really feels good not to be at work for a while. Yesterday did a bit of shopping at orchard. Can't believe how my lower legs hurt so badly i woke up in the middle of the night. Feeling much better now. Hope it isn't rheumatism. Btw, your rheumatology sounds like rheumatism-related. I didn't walk for very long and i wore slippers somemore so it just shows how sorely lacking in exercise i am. Imagine one just has to work 2 days a week. Although someone - not sure if kindly - explained what i should do with the different stuff piled on my desk, i decided i won't touch them coz i'm really not sure wad to do with them. I've been here for 14 days but i can't be independent....sighz right. What have i learnt? Just take instructions. Don't think I'll be getting to learn how to use the accounting software. My boss juz doesn't have the time to teach me!!! Just as well, i'll be leaving for uni soon. They've found a perm for my position and she'll be coming in in July. By the time, i'll just teach her how to do what i do and then disappear. Until now, i still dun understand wad i'm doing. Guess it's a bit like studying. It's more tedious when you have to memorise the procedure without understanding why it's done the way it's done.
Wad i've learnt from my working experience - really nothing to mention - is that even if we gain nothing from it, we learn how to be more thick skin. If everytime we get a scolding or dressing down, we get all upset and embarrassed about it, we cannot move on in our work. And things will get better when we know wad we're doing. Also, bosses like employees who can take criticisms and still be teachable and optimistic. Make both parties happier but easier said than done of course. Worse come to worse, we leave a very bad impression with our boss. Can't get any worse right. That's some encouragement for me. Can't blame our boss also when they get impatient. Just ask our dads. I'm sure your dad has taken some new guy under his wing also. Sure he'll have some grievances to share as much as he's trying to be nice.
As much as your job can be mentally stimulating or challenging, sure it'll reach a dry point. Can't be switching careers at every juncture like this right. Then how, studying is boring, working also boring. In this sense, life's like quite sad. Not savouring my work now(slacking still better), neither am i looking to start school. And i haven't recovered from my sickness. My throat still feels weird.
hope you get well soon!
i just got an email about Honouring God in our work...soooo timely! =)
wow sounds like you guys are really learning a lot from your work experience. mm mei ping if you want i can show you how to you quickbooks haha. it's an accounting software which i had to use for an assignment.
in line with what you said in your last paragraph meiping.. hmm i think ecclesiastes provides quite a nice perspective on our purpose in life... on how working can seem to meaningless.. which is why sometimes we need to take a step back, have some time to ourselves and ponder on the larger purpose of things, which jo very nicely highlighted in her post on corrie ten boom's book. how every experience God puts us through does have its purpose, even if we dont understand it in the present.
well back to ecclesiastes, it think the following passage from ecc 3:9-14 puts it very well:
'9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.'
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