Rid me of myself

My uncle just came to talk to me about whether i'm still thinking about medical schools. He told me that his friend mentioned a med/pre-med program(?) at Brock where you do a 2-year stint in the Caribbeans and then you can apply back to N. America for med schools... He said the criteria isn't as stringent as Ontario med schools, lower GPA requirements etc.
but ...

It's frustrating. On one hand it would seem like I'm qualified for at least something, on the other hand, I don't feel qualified at all.
Can I say that I am disappointed with myself? that I have disappointed my family? A Masters in Science, even if it were to be at a top university, wouldn't be good enough...

It's frustrating when there seems to be something, even the least bit, that I can do and work towards within my ability, or because of the so-called achievements I have. The need for God, for Jesus as your Lord diminishes exponentially...

That is what is so frustrating. Not being at peace, being so restless because I am still struggling so hard to do what I think, what the world tells me to think, would be best.
To count it all as loss is far harder than I had imagined it to be.


Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemption's hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

not my will but Yours be done...